Is there a more unromantic day than Valentine’s Day?
I absolutely adore roses, chocolate, jewelry and fine dinners — but I’ve never been able to show any love for this cookie-cutter holiday that encourages forced expressions of affection.
In that hopelessly sour spirit, here are my top three buzzkills to honor V-Day this year:
3. Bésame mucho, darling — as long as you’ve got good genes.
If you kiss your sweetheart this Valentine’s Day and find it especially appealing, credit the candlelight, the champagne—or maybe just excellent gene compatibility.
“[Kissing] is not just for fun and sexuality. You are passing vital information about who you are—your genetics, your temperament,” said Dr. Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist at Rutgers University. “When you kiss you’re not just picking up if they’re a nice guy, you’re picking up if he’ll be a good father.”
2. Look, honey, I made you a ring all by myself.
Engadget’s cheeky little post on “DIY Screw-Nut rings replace roses, express affection” made me laugh, but I have to imagine that actually getting one of these rings in lieu of roses and wine would make you more likely to cry.
1. I hope you like this bouquet. It’s a special guilt variety.
So on that note, enjoy the rest of your evening with your valentine. If you still can.