A hammered rose
Is there a more unromantic day than Valentine’s Day?
I absolutely adore roses, chocolate, jewelry and fine dinners — but I’ve never been able to show any love for this cookie-cutter holiday that encourages forced expressions of affection.
In that hopelessly sour spirit, here are my top three buzzkills to honor V-Day this year:
3. Bésame mucho, darling — as long as you’ve got good genes.
The Trib really helped set the mood with “The science of smooching”:
If you kiss your sweetheart this Valentine’s Day and find it especially appealing, credit the candlelight, the champagne—or maybe just excellent gene compatibility.
“[Kissing] is not just for fun and sexuality. You are passing vital information about who you are—your genetics, your temperament,” said Dr. Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist at Rutgers University. “When you kiss you’re not just picking up if they’re a nice guy, you’re picking up if he’ll be a good father.”
2. Look, honey, I made you a ring all by myself.
Engadget’s cheeky little post on “DIY Screw-Nut rings replace roses, express affection” made me laugh, but I have to imagine that actually getting one of these rings in lieu of roses and wine would make you more likely to cry.
1. I hope you like this bouquet. It’s a special guilt variety.
In “Blood Roses and Deadly Diamonds,” Current Vanguard journalists travel to Columbia and Sierra Leone to show you the dark side of all those gorgeous bouquets.
So on that note, enjoy the rest of your evening with your valentine. If you still can.
Beyond 140 